Patrick Ryan Smythe was squeezed out of his mother’s vagina on March 18, 1982. He currently works as the night manager at Blockbuster Video in Dallas, TX. Despite his unfortunate tendency to be scary and creepy, Smythe is actually a really nice guy with a big heart.
Smythe has been a fan of Lemon Demon even since he ordered “Hip To The Javabean” one night in a drunken stupor. When the CD arrived several weeks later, he was quite surprised to find out he enjoyed it. Upon finally getting his damn computer fixed in January 2006, Smythe happened upon The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny on Neil Cicierega’s Wikipedia page while looking at animutations, and was pleased to learn that Lemon Demon was still around, still making music, and more popular than ever.
He proceeded to register at the then-newly created Lemon Demon forums, where he then got drunk one night and began spouting off that he knew how to make Lemon Demon famous, and if Neil wanted to succeed at music, then he needed to follow Smythe’s plan to the letter. This, in turn, earned Smythe the title of “control freak,” the very first custom title awarded on the Lemon Demon forums. Smythe has since toned down on the “You Must Do What I Say” business and instead supports Neil and Lemon Demon by committing Lemizdat around the area of Dallas, including putting up posters and burning sample CD’s and handing them out to random people on the bus and at work.
Smythe creates fairly crappy synthpop ballads on his PS2, but is probably most well known for the infamous Ultimate Orgy, a parody of the Ultimate Showdown which features all the Showdown’s participants having hot gay sex with each other.
Smythe is also rather well known as the most popular DJ on AUDIBLE Radio, sometimes doing shows as often as three or four times a week. During the early evening he plays “The Saint Smythe Show,” containing a wonderful mix of hits from the 70’s-00’s, Eurodance, J-Rock, and lots of other stuff. Overnight, “Past Your Bedtime” is more of a catch all, where Smythe plays whatever he feels like and takes lots of requests. It’s a load of fun so be sure to tune in to http://audible.illemonati.com:8000 whenever he’s on.
Smythe just realized he’s started every paragraph here by referring to himself.
Smythe really needs to go to bed now.
If you really feel like leaving a testimonial, go right ahead.
- “SaintSmythe is one of those guys that seems rather sad and/or lonely, but is in reality a BA (for Bad Ass)” -VirtualSting
- “SaintSmythe never fails to make me happy. He’s just that kind of person.” -blackbyrus
- “There is no one sexier than Smythe”- mattgcn
- “Saintsmythe is THE best stalker I have ever known. He’s also quite helpful when it comes to English homework.” - Lint;;
- “SaintSmythe is awesome. I think.” -Tyrante
- “SaintSmythe knows more random trivia than anyone else I’ve ever met. Rock On!” -Mags
- “SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY SEXY is SaintSmythe. Sexy is he.” -Awkward
- “Smythey knows how to use the USOUD instrumental better than I do.” ~bowser724
- “Smythe is one of the more awesome forum members. The forum wouldn’t be the same without him.” - RabidToaster
- “Smythe is fun to hug. -hugs Smythe-” Anya
- “Smythe is…just awesome. I shall not complicate the testimonialization process with many words but simply say that aww smeeness exists here.”- Damn Seduction Stage
- “Smythe is cool. Especially since his last name is pronounced Smith, without actually being spelled like that.” -BeatlesLover
- “Wewt! Smythe!”- Ryder
- “Smythe is the only person on this board who understands my whining about the Navy. Thanks, man.” - madhatte
- “Smythe is one badass mother who don’t take no crap off of nobody” - papaSKROBE
- SaintSmythe crafts gods with his hammer made out of cow hides and his avil made out of carved bannas. May the lords bow down to the Smythe. - Athomus
- SaintSmythe approves of me, so he must have good taste - Eccentric Ned
- Smythe wins at life so very much. He is also very kind and considerate. YAY SMYTHE! - Awkward
- Smythe is kewl for letting me listen to him ramble on at 5 in the morning and helping me set up my page =D - Spitfire
- Since when do you worship women? Last I checked you had a complete case of misogyny. :P Anya
- Smythe is an awesome person, who is quite interesting to talk to. -Mary
- Smythe is one of the most amazing people I know online. =) He’s kind, considerate, and an amazingly cool person. CrazyWoodElf/Cwelfin
- SaintSmythe has very awesome taste in music, and he does very awesome AUDIBLE radio broadcasts. —Amanda132
- Smythe is amazingly cool. His AUDIBLE broadcasts are amazing. He is the coolest creepy internet guy I know! -TMM
- “Smythe is the best DJ around, but that’s because he cheats, har har. And he wins points for starting the vamp game. But mostly for DJing. Oh, and I revived the quotes, so I win as well.” -Kage
- “Smythe is Myndi’s idol. Myndi thinks Smythe’s DJing skills are whack, ‘cause they are so hip. Myndi also appreciates Smythe listening to her annoying rants on MSN.”
- Also, you’re silly.
- Also, also, you’re the goddamn batman.
- Smythe makes the best chocolate ever. —Chloe
- Smythe is an awesome DJ, I listen to his “Past the Bedtime show” almost everytime (TIMEZONES :P) — Niklasva|Talk|Designs
- To be blunt, you sir, rock. — Mr.Chaos
- YAY ITSASMYTHE <3! — Kisara
- Smythe is one of my favourite forummers. He has that warming quality, like you could just go up to him and give him a hug and he wouldn’t go “WTF”. <3 — Spitfire
- Smythe is willing to pretend to be Homer Simpson on skype for you to entertain your bored nieces/nephew. Procrastinating
- Smythe looks around 10 years older than he actually is. >_> Don’t kill me; I mean no harm. —~~NaN
- Kitty! ~ Kisara 10:09, 27 December 2007 (EST)