From WikiLemon

Howdy like a dowdy!!!

Woot Woot… what can I say… I love the cake… Much better than pie… and dude… it’s like candy… in cake form!!!! I’ve not been around long enough for people to learn to love me… though they all know they will… So yes Testimonials about me… would basically be me making things up so it sounded like people loved me…

…..Awkward…. *blink blink*…. anywho… here’s me… http://kate-land.blogspot.com/ …. and well… when people realize I rock and have the Biggest Penis of Them All!!! I SHALL RULE THE WORLD… BWAHAHAHAHAHA…. So feel no pain… One day you will come under my rule and be made to perfrom sexual favors for me and d4nce4m01….

Y’all come back now!!!

Testimonials

d4nce4m01:

• “You, yes you! When Cake rules the world, YOU will be giving her and I sexual favours. So loosen up your tongues and get flexible, because otherwise you wont last long. Oh, and did I mention that we pwn?”
• “I love your ode, so inspiring! WE SHALL WIN!”

SaintSmythe:

• (Holds up sign that says ‘CAKE FOR WORLD LEADER’)

Luminiferous Æther Bunny:

• “You make it sound like being made to perform sexual favours for you and d4nce would be an undesirable thing. What’s up with that? I, for one, fully support their campaign for the position of Supreme Ruler of the World, or, failing that, Masturbation Gold Medalist.”

Tyrante:

• Kate: A champion among masturbators.

Of Masturbation and such things

So low one cold April night a contest was begun. The men were too chicken! But I say who wants the gimps and the limps to compete. So Jess and I said. Why not compete you and I? But slowly it changed to girl versus guy!

While I stayed ahead… by at least 33… In less than three hours we’d topped 43! Jess and I proclaimed a fight to the death… or at least til Friday morning… and then we could rest!

But as we went on… we realized our foe… was the fact that masturbation can get you quite low… There were tears and then sadness… and I had a nap… We almost gave up… but then we came back.

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!! Was our cry. We must bring down the guys! And so we gained points as we regained our high!

Jess said she can’t compete with me… because I’m insane… so I just smiled and said “yup, tis my middle name.” But the scoreboards are up! And WE MUST WIN!!! I shall defeat you all…. or just get lots of orgasms… hehehe… hahaha… okay never mind… I was saying something important… kinda…

With one hand in our pocket… and the other… going +1… We are proud! We shall win! And the fight will go on!

http://ld.fubaria.org/wiki/Masturbation_Contest_2006-04-03#Males_vs._Females