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Neil Saves Christmas
From WikiLemon
Neil Saves Christmas
- Artist:
- Rojhelio Studios, Not A Tad Bad, Cinema Rocketry
- Released:
- January 12, 2007
- Length:
- 11:47
- Link:
- Google Video
- Soundtrack:
- Yes
A wonderful Christmas special starring Neil! It’s an EPIC TWO PARTER!
Cast and crew:
- Directed by: Ryan Murphy
- Written by: Ryan Murphy, Neil Cicierega, Kevin James, Pat Ryan
- Editing and Special Effects by: Kevin James
- Stop Motion Effects: Ryan Murphy
- Cinematography: Ryan Murphy, Kevin James
- Starring: Neil Cicierega, Kevin James, Ryan Murphy
- Puppeteers: Neil Cicierega, Emmy Cicierega, Ryan Murphy, Alora Lanzillotta
- Musical Score: Neil Cicierega
Running Time Difference: 11:47 or 11:49 (Google Video, YouTube)
Contents |
Transcript
Part one
(Opening credits appear)
Narrator: Once upon a time, there was a young lad by the name of Neil Cicierega. Neil loved Christmas more than life itself. He spent all year preparing for that one night when his ultimate hero, Santa Claus, would visit him in the dead of night and bring meaning to his otherwise hollow life.
(Neil prepares for Santa’s visit by writing “FOR SANTA” on a sheet of paper, distributing cookies, pouring soy milk, and putting them all toghether for him.)
Narrator: Neil loved Santa Claus more than any other part of Christmas, and he could hardly contain his excitement as he went to sleep on Christmas Eve.
(Glass shatters, Neil awakens and goes downstairs. Neil is happy, but when he notices Superman is at his tree, he becomes sad.)
Neil: What are you doing here?
Superman: That’s right, it’s me! Superman….Yeah.
Neil: I know who you are. Where’s Santa?
Superman: Say, you know what you need?
Neil: Santa?
Superman: A Napoleon Dynamite action figure.
Action Figure: I caught you a delicioud bass.
Superman: Yeah, see? All the kids like him. Here you go, kid. (Picks up bag of toys) Well, I’d better be goin’ now.
Neil: You can’t go now.
Superman: Now, young Jimmy, I gotta go. Lots of kids worldwide are counting on Superman to make sure there Christmas is okay.
Neil: My name’s Neil.
Superman: That’s right, Neil! I’ll see you later!
Neil: I don’t understand!
Superman: See you next Christmas, Neil!
Neil: Next Christmas?
(Superman flies off)
Narrator: And so it was that Neil decided to the North Pole and rescue Santa Clays from whatever cruel fate had stopped him from fulfilling his Christmas duties.
Squirrel: Do you think he’s really the one?
Porcupine: It’s difficult to say for now…only time will tell! Perhaps he’s merely an imposter.
Neil: Wh-who’s there?
Squirrel: We are the good creatures of the forest!
Badger: Oh, hello there!
Unidentified animal 1: Hello!
Unidentified animal 2: Kaskaskaskaskaskassss….
Monkey: Wassup?
Porcupine: (Audible purring)
Unidentified animal 3: We’ve been watching you for quite some time, young man.
Squirrel: And we’re here to help!
Neil: Really?
Squirrel: That’s right!
Porcupine: We can get you to the North Pole!
Monkey: The creatures of the woods have many powers, and we can share them with those who are pure of heart! (Scrunches face in, weird sound effect occurs)
Unidentified animal 3: Bring the boy the Magic Sled!
(The animals follow command and do just that.)
Squirrel: The Magic Sled can get you to the North Pole in no time flat!
Neil: Really? Wow! Thanks, guys! So——so this will take me to Santa’s workshop?
Squirrel: No! To the Fortress of Solitude!
Porcupine: Where you’ll find Superman!
Neil: Oh…him……..Thanks, guys.
Monkey: Now go, young man! Fulfill your destiny!
Porcupine: Goodbye!
Unidentified animal 4: Goodbye!
Unidentified animal 5: Find more gold!
Monkey: Good luck!
(Neil begins to run, the sled begins to glow, and then they boht begin to fly.)
Neil: Wow, Detroit!
Narrator: Once upon a time, there was a young lad by the name of Neil Cicierega. Neil loved Christmas more than life itself. He spent all year preparing for that one night when his ultimate hero, Santa Claus, would visit him in the dead of night and bring meaning to his otherwise hollow life.
(Neil prepares for Santa’s visit by writing “FOR SANTA” on a sheet of paper, distributing cookies, pouring soy milk, and putting them all toghether for him.)
Narrator: Neil loved Santa Claus more than any other part of Christmas, and he could hardly contain his excitement as he went to sleep on Christmas Eve.
(Glass shatters, Neil awakens and goes downstairs. Neil is happy, but when he notices Superman is at his tree, he becomes sad.)
Neil: What are you doing here?
Superman: That’s right, it’s me! Superman….Yeah.
Neil: I know who you are. Where’s Santa?
Superman: Say, you know what you need?
Neil: Santa?
Superman: A Napoleon Dynamite action figure.
Action Figure: I caught you a delicioud bass.
Superman: Yeah, see? All the kids like him. Here you go, kid. (Picks up bag of toys) Well, I’d better be goin’ now.
Neil: You can’t go now.
Superman: Now, young Jimmy, I gotta go. Lots of kids worldwide are counting on Superman to make sure there Christmas is okay.
Neil: My name’s Neil.
Superman: That’s right, Neil! I’ll see you later!
Neil: I don’t understand!
Superman: See you next Christmas, Neil!
Neil: Next Christmas?
(Superman flies off)
Narrator: And so it was that Neil decided to the North Pole and rescue Santa Clays from whatever cruel fate had stopped him from fulfilling his Christmas duties.
Squirrel: Do you think he’s really the one?
Porcupine: It’s difficult to say for now…only time will tell! Perhaps he’s merely an imposter.
Neil: Wh-who’s there?
Squirrel: We are the good creatures of the forest!
Badger: Oh, hello there!
Unidentified animal 1: Hello!
Unidentified animal 2: Kaskaskaskaskaskassss….
Monkey: Wassup?
Porcupine: (Audible purring)
Unidentified animal 3: We’ve been watching you for quite some time, young man.
Squirrel: And we’re here to help!
Neil: Really?
Squirrel: That’s right!
Porcupine: We can get you to the North Pole!
Monkey: The creatures of the woods have many powers, and we can share them with those who are pure of heart! (Scrunches face in, weird sound effect occurs)
Unidentified animal 3: Bring the boy the Magic Sled!
(The animals follow command and do just that.)
Squirrel: The Magic Sled can get you to the North Pole in no time flat!
Neil: Really? Wow! Thanks, guys! So——so this will take me to Santa’s workshop?
Squirrel: No! To the Fortress of Solitude!
Porcupine: Where you’ll find Superman!
Neil: Oh…him……..Thanks, guys.
Monkey: Now go, young man! Fulfill your destiny!
Porcupine: Goodbye!
Unidentified animal 4: Goodbye!
Unidentified animal 5: Find more gold!
Monkey: Good luck!
(Neil begins to run, the sled begins to glow, and then they boht begin to fly.)
Neil: Wow, Detroit!
Part two
(Neil arrives inside Santa’s house. Superman comes out of the washroom.)
Superman: Hey, it’s— uh… you! Uh, Neil!
Neil (whispering): Superman…
Superman: Y-you bring any friends with you?
Neil: It’s just you and me, Superman. What have you done with Santa?
Superman: Hold on, Neil. I didn’t do anything to Santa. We’re good friends y’know, I saw him about a week ago.
Neil: Oh, so you’re friends now? So how come you took his job, huh?
Superman: (sighs) I didn’t steal anything, Neil. If I didn’t help out, children worldwide wouldn’t have gotten their presents this Christmas.
Neil: Ha! And why is that?
Superman: Because he’s dead!
Neil (meekly): …Santa’s dead?
Superman: Yeah, there were pills everywhere and… it was just a mess and…
Neil: How could you let this happen?
Superman: Now look, Neil, I didn’t LET this happen. There are a lot of other things I could be taking care of — things that certain sole individuals couldn’t do, lots of lives I could be saving — I didn’t just coast away and let Santa die, y’know.
Neil: B-but… but Santa…
Superman: Now listen, young man, this may not be easy to hear, but there’s a time and place for everything and a purpose for everybody under the sun, y’know.
(Neil isn’t convinced.)
Superman: Listen, Neil, there are things out there in the world that Mom and Dad won’t always be able to explain to you. There are tough moments and there are fun, but… well, there’s just no way of avoiding them. They aren’t always so bad. I mean, if it wasn’t for times like that you’d never be able to grow from a nice young boy like yourself into a full grown man like me. I know it’s kinda silly, having a guy in blue tights tell you that you gotta learn to mature, but… well, there comes a time when you just have to stop believing in things like Santa Claus. And I know… well, I just gotta say, Neil, sometimes you just gotta learn to grow up.
Neil: (suddenly notices something) Hey, what’s this?
(He unfurls a scroll.)
Neil: It’s in some sort of wacky language.
Superman: Neil, where did you get this?
Neil: It was on my magic sled.
Superman: Neil, where’d you get this magic sled?
Neil: It was given to me by magic animals.
Superman: All right, it’s in Krytonian.
Neil: Can you read it?
Superman (softly): Yes, I can… (more loudly) yes, I can read Kryptonian, yeah. It says here that all you need to do is put on Santa’s hat and you can become Santa Claus.
Neil: Yay! Yay! YAY! I’M SANTA CLAUS, YAY! Yay! Wait, so everything you told me about growing up—?
Superman (annoyed): Here’s the hat!
(Neil puts on the hat and falls to the floor, writhing in pain.)
Superman: Oh, sweet Jesus.
Neil: Euuugh, it burns!
(He starts turning into Santa Claus.)
Neil: Oh, sweet merciful Christ in a dirigible!
(He transforms fully into Santa Claus and dances with Superman and the magical animals, who have suddenly reappeared.)
Narrator: And that’s the last time I ever tell YOU a story. (He slams Animorphs book closed.)
Superman: Hey, it’s— uh… you! Uh, Neil!
Neil (whispering): Superman…
Superman: Y-you bring any friends with you?
Neil: It’s just you and me, Superman. What have you done with Santa?
Superman: Hold on, Neil. I didn’t do anything to Santa. We’re good friends y’know, I saw him about a week ago.
Neil: Oh, so you’re friends now? So how come you took his job, huh?
Superman: (sighs) I didn’t steal anything, Neil. If I didn’t help out, children worldwide wouldn’t have gotten their presents this Christmas.
Neil: Ha! And why is that?
Superman: Because he’s dead!
Neil (meekly): …Santa’s dead?
Superman: Yeah, there were pills everywhere and… it was just a mess and…
Neil: How could you let this happen?
Superman: Now look, Neil, I didn’t LET this happen. There are a lot of other things I could be taking care of — things that certain sole individuals couldn’t do, lots of lives I could be saving — I didn’t just coast away and let Santa die, y’know.
Neil: B-but… but Santa…
Superman: Now listen, young man, this may not be easy to hear, but there’s a time and place for everything and a purpose for everybody under the sun, y’know.
(Neil isn’t convinced.)
Superman: Listen, Neil, there are things out there in the world that Mom and Dad won’t always be able to explain to you. There are tough moments and there are fun, but… well, there’s just no way of avoiding them. They aren’t always so bad. I mean, if it wasn’t for times like that you’d never be able to grow from a nice young boy like yourself into a full grown man like me. I know it’s kinda silly, having a guy in blue tights tell you that you gotta learn to mature, but… well, there comes a time when you just have to stop believing in things like Santa Claus. And I know… well, I just gotta say, Neil, sometimes you just gotta learn to grow up.
Neil: (suddenly notices something) Hey, what’s this?
(He unfurls a scroll.)
Neil: It’s in some sort of wacky language.
Superman: Neil, where did you get this?
Neil: It was on my magic sled.
Superman: Neil, where’d you get this magic sled?
Neil: It was given to me by magic animals.
Superman: All right, it’s in Krytonian.
Neil: Can you read it?
Superman (softly): Yes, I can… (more loudly) yes, I can read Kryptonian, yeah. It says here that all you need to do is put on Santa’s hat and you can become Santa Claus.
Neil: Yay! Yay! YAY! I’M SANTA CLAUS, YAY! Yay! Wait, so everything you told me about growing up—?
Superman (annoyed): Here’s the hat!
(Neil puts on the hat and falls to the floor, writhing in pain.)
Superman: Oh, sweet Jesus.
Neil: Euuugh, it burns!
(He starts turning into Santa Claus.)
Neil: Oh, sweet merciful Christ in a dirigible!
(He transforms fully into Santa Claus and dances with Superman and the magical animals, who have suddenly reappeared.)
Narrator: And that’s the last time I ever tell YOU a story. (He slams Animorphs book closed.)
Soundtrack
- Setting Up For Santa
- There Arose Such A Clatter
- Superman Leaves and Neil Gets Lost
- Creatures of the Forest
- Sled Appears
- Confronting Superman
- Sad Neil
- Scroll Discovery
- YAYYYYY
- Becoming Santa
- Ho Ho Ho I’m Santa Claus and Credits
