The forum is down, but Stonehenge isn’t. Go over there, we have missed you so!
McShark
From WikiLemon
McShark
- Artist:
- New Kids on the Rock
- Length:
- 8:38
- Link:
- YouTube
Transcript
(The scene is set at a bar. Several shady characters are about. A woman enters.)
Rachel: Excuse me, uh, sirs, I’m actually driving cross-country right now, and my car just broke down a couple blocks away, and I was wondering if you could possibly help me?
(The bartender nods no sadly.)
Pete: I think we could arrange something. Wouldn’t you say so, Larry?
Larry: I think we could work something out, Pete. Anything… for a lady.
(They stand up and approach her.)
Rachel: Woah, guys, um, I can just go across the street or something if.. you’re…
(Larry grabs her, revealing a snake tattoo on his arm.)
Larry: You ain’t goin’ nowhere!
Rachel: Hey! Let go of me! Help! Somebody!
Pete: Ain’t no-one comin’ to help you, sugar. You’re in our territory.
(Camera shows a man playing pool while Pete and Larry laugh.)
Larry: No-one’s comin’ to save you, honey.
Pete: There’s no escape from us.
(The pool-playing man looks over suspiciously, puts out a cigarette on the sole of his shoe, and grabs the pool cue aligner thing.)
Larry: You picked a lousy place to break down, sugar. Don’t you know why they call this place the Second City?
Man: I believe that’s a foul stroke, gentlemen.
(Pete and Larry look over confusedly. The man punches Larry in the face, using the aligner to aim.)
Pete: What the?
(The man hits Pete with the pool cue. The bartender is getting very into the fight. The man pulls out a cue ball and throws it. It bounces off several objects before hitting Pete in the head.)
Man: We’ve got to get you out of here.
Rachel: Who… are you?
(Dramatic zoom-in on the man’s face. Cut to black, and an 80s-style opening begins, with the man walking down a hall as narration plays.)
Man: My name is Scratch Turner. I was a CIA agent, but I was framed for a crime I didn’t commit.
(He opens a door to find a body.)
Scratch: Now I’m on the run. Surviving the only way I know how: playing pool.
(Montage of Scratch doing random things plays, with credits that name the actual actors in the film. They end with “Based on the book ‘The Pool Shark’ by Kevin James” and the title: “McShark.”)
(Scratch is in the bathroom, wiping his head with a towel. He has a large cut on his face. Text reading “Calling the Shots” appears on the screen. Real credits continue to play.)
Rachel: I can’t thank you enough for saving me back there. Not to mention bringing me back to your place. Wait a minute- you’re hurt!
Scratch: Don’t worry. It’s just a scratch. What I’m more concerned about is what the Massay gang is gonna do once they find us.
Rachel: The who?
Scratch: The Massay gang. A cartel of drug dealers and petty thugs that run the crime gambit in this town. Their tattoos gave them away back there. They’re up to something big now. I’ve been hearing things.
Rachel: How… how on Earth do you know all this?
(Scratch looks wistfully at a pool trophy.)
Scratch: I’m ex-CIA. Framed for a crime I didn’t commit. I had to dodge out of Washington years ago to avoid jail time. I’ve been trying to prove my innocence ever since.
Rachel: Ex-CIA? You must be pretty smart. You’re pretty good at geometry?
Scratch: What gave you that idea?
Rachel: Oh, I saw you turning trick shots on that pool table back there.
Scratch: Smart girl. Graduated top of my class at MIT. Been using my skills to keep my cash flow afloat ever since I jumped ship from Langley. But I’ve said too much.
(He pulls a pool cue out from a box in the closet.)
Scratch: And the Massays are going to be looking for us now.
Rachel: What should we do?
Scratch: We find them first.
(Cut to the gang’s hideout. Drugs and thugs abound.)
Gang leader: All right, so we steal the boat, ditch the vice, we’re left with two bags of coke and three babes!
Thug: Ditch the vice. Man, you guys tell some of the best stories!
Gang leader: Yeah. Man, this cocaine deal tonight’s gonna make us some pretty serious bank, fellas.
Scratch: The only bank being made tonight will be bank shots, Yans(?).
Gang leader: Just who the hell are you?
(Scratch puts out a cigarette on the sole of his shoe and walks in.)
Scratch: Oh, just someone looking to make it big on the score tonight, fellas.
Gang leader: Well listen here, pool shark, we ain’t sellin’ to the likes of you! So why don’t you just beat it?
(Two thugs grab Scratch and take his pool cue.)
Thug: I got him, boss!
Scratch: My cue!
Gang leader: Rack him up, boys. Rack him up.
(To be continued…)
(Cuts back to the same moment.)
Gang leader: Rack him up, boys. Rack him up.
(Scratch easily escapes and beats up the two thugs.)
Gang leader: Larry! Pete! Solids! Stripes! Cue ball!
(The five thugs he called assemble in formation. Scratch kicks the one in front and they all fall over.)
Scratch: Break.
(Pete gets up and attacks Scratch, but Scratch crushes some cue chalk in his hand and blows it in his eyes.)
Pete: My eyes! My eyes!
(He walks into a wall and falls over.)
Scratch: Chalk that one up to bad luck.
(Larry, with a black eye from their last encounter, runs up and throws several punches, all of which miss. Scratch punches him out immediately.)
Scratch: 8-ball, corner pocket.
(He picks up his pool cue and advances on the gang leader.)
Gang leader: You think you’re pretty clever, don’t you, FOOL shark!
(Scratch pounds the ground with a cue, knocking a cue ball up into his hand. He throws it into the air, takes aim, and hits it with the pool cue into the gang leader’s head. Scratch looks at his handiwork, and Rachel enters.)
Rachel: It’s over.
Scratch: It’s never over, Rachel. Not with these types. I’ll have to keep my eye on this one.
(The gang leader is shown cross-eyed and unconscious on the ground.)
Scratch: Follow the bread trail. The tow truck should be by for you soon.
Rachel: Thanks. …I never got your name, though.
Scratch: The name’s Turner. Scratch Turner.
(McShark title is shown, and credits play.)
(The gang leader is on a bed in a hotel room, talking on the phone.)
Gang leader: Sorry, Uncle Massay, the deal was a bust. This pool shark guy just came out of nowhere, and-
Massay: That’s enough, Yons(?), quite enough. We still own the drug trade in this town. Though I’m afraid we haven’t seen the last of this… pool shark fellow. But I intend to make our next encounter… his last.
(Massay hangs up and reclines sinisterly in his chair.)
(Hollywoodeasttv.com logo)
Rachel: Excuse me, uh, sirs, I’m actually driving cross-country right now, and my car just broke down a couple blocks away, and I was wondering if you could possibly help me?
(The bartender nods no sadly.)
Pete: I think we could arrange something. Wouldn’t you say so, Larry?
Larry: I think we could work something out, Pete. Anything… for a lady.
(They stand up and approach her.)
Rachel: Woah, guys, um, I can just go across the street or something if.. you’re…
(Larry grabs her, revealing a snake tattoo on his arm.)
Larry: You ain’t goin’ nowhere!
Rachel: Hey! Let go of me! Help! Somebody!
Pete: Ain’t no-one comin’ to help you, sugar. You’re in our territory.
(Camera shows a man playing pool while Pete and Larry laugh.)
Larry: No-one’s comin’ to save you, honey.
Pete: There’s no escape from us.
(The pool-playing man looks over suspiciously, puts out a cigarette on the sole of his shoe, and grabs the pool cue aligner thing.)
Larry: You picked a lousy place to break down, sugar. Don’t you know why they call this place the Second City?
Man: I believe that’s a foul stroke, gentlemen.
(Pete and Larry look over confusedly. The man punches Larry in the face, using the aligner to aim.)
Pete: What the?
(The man hits Pete with the pool cue. The bartender is getting very into the fight. The man pulls out a cue ball and throws it. It bounces off several objects before hitting Pete in the head.)
Man: We’ve got to get you out of here.
Rachel: Who… are you?
(Dramatic zoom-in on the man’s face. Cut to black, and an 80s-style opening begins, with the man walking down a hall as narration plays.)
Man: My name is Scratch Turner. I was a CIA agent, but I was framed for a crime I didn’t commit.
(He opens a door to find a body.)
Scratch: Now I’m on the run. Surviving the only way I know how: playing pool.
(Montage of Scratch doing random things plays, with credits that name the actual actors in the film. They end with “Based on the book ‘The Pool Shark’ by Kevin James” and the title: “McShark.”)
(Scratch is in the bathroom, wiping his head with a towel. He has a large cut on his face. Text reading “Calling the Shots” appears on the screen. Real credits continue to play.)
Rachel: I can’t thank you enough for saving me back there. Not to mention bringing me back to your place. Wait a minute- you’re hurt!
Scratch: Don’t worry. It’s just a scratch. What I’m more concerned about is what the Massay gang is gonna do once they find us.
Rachel: The who?
Scratch: The Massay gang. A cartel of drug dealers and petty thugs that run the crime gambit in this town. Their tattoos gave them away back there. They’re up to something big now. I’ve been hearing things.
Rachel: How… how on Earth do you know all this?
(Scratch looks wistfully at a pool trophy.)
Scratch: I’m ex-CIA. Framed for a crime I didn’t commit. I had to dodge out of Washington years ago to avoid jail time. I’ve been trying to prove my innocence ever since.
Rachel: Ex-CIA? You must be pretty smart. You’re pretty good at geometry?
Scratch: What gave you that idea?
Rachel: Oh, I saw you turning trick shots on that pool table back there.
Scratch: Smart girl. Graduated top of my class at MIT. Been using my skills to keep my cash flow afloat ever since I jumped ship from Langley. But I’ve said too much.
(He pulls a pool cue out from a box in the closet.)
Scratch: And the Massays are going to be looking for us now.
Rachel: What should we do?
Scratch: We find them first.
(Cut to the gang’s hideout. Drugs and thugs abound.)
Gang leader: All right, so we steal the boat, ditch the vice, we’re left with two bags of coke and three babes!
Thug: Ditch the vice. Man, you guys tell some of the best stories!
Gang leader: Yeah. Man, this cocaine deal tonight’s gonna make us some pretty serious bank, fellas.
Scratch: The only bank being made tonight will be bank shots, Yans(?).
Gang leader: Just who the hell are you?
(Scratch puts out a cigarette on the sole of his shoe and walks in.)
Scratch: Oh, just someone looking to make it big on the score tonight, fellas.
Gang leader: Well listen here, pool shark, we ain’t sellin’ to the likes of you! So why don’t you just beat it?
(Two thugs grab Scratch and take his pool cue.)
Thug: I got him, boss!
Scratch: My cue!
Gang leader: Rack him up, boys. Rack him up.
(To be continued…)
(Cuts back to the same moment.)
Gang leader: Rack him up, boys. Rack him up.
(Scratch easily escapes and beats up the two thugs.)
Gang leader: Larry! Pete! Solids! Stripes! Cue ball!
(The five thugs he called assemble in formation. Scratch kicks the one in front and they all fall over.)
Scratch: Break.
(Pete gets up and attacks Scratch, but Scratch crushes some cue chalk in his hand and blows it in his eyes.)
Pete: My eyes! My eyes!
(He walks into a wall and falls over.)
Scratch: Chalk that one up to bad luck.
(Larry, with a black eye from their last encounter, runs up and throws several punches, all of which miss. Scratch punches him out immediately.)
Scratch: 8-ball, corner pocket.
(He picks up his pool cue and advances on the gang leader.)
Gang leader: You think you’re pretty clever, don’t you, FOOL shark!
(Scratch pounds the ground with a cue, knocking a cue ball up into his hand. He throws it into the air, takes aim, and hits it with the pool cue into the gang leader’s head. Scratch looks at his handiwork, and Rachel enters.)
Rachel: It’s over.
Scratch: It’s never over, Rachel. Not with these types. I’ll have to keep my eye on this one.
(The gang leader is shown cross-eyed and unconscious on the ground.)
Scratch: Follow the bread trail. The tow truck should be by for you soon.
Rachel: Thanks. …I never got your name, though.
Scratch: The name’s Turner. Scratch Turner.
(McShark title is shown, and credits play.)
(The gang leader is on a bed in a hotel room, talking on the phone.)
Gang leader: Sorry, Uncle Massay, the deal was a bust. This pool shark guy just came out of nowhere, and-
Massay: That’s enough, Yons(?), quite enough. We still own the drug trade in this town. Though I’m afraid we haven’t seen the last of this… pool shark fellow. But I intend to make our next encounter… his last.
(Massay hangs up and reclines sinisterly in his chair.)
(Hollywoodeasttv.com logo)