From WikiLemon

The Laws of Forumodynamics are a series of sociological observations about the Lemon Demon forums.

Descriptions of the laws here may be paraphrased from how they were originally described, for clarity. They are numbered in the order in which they were first introduced, not in order of importance. (The Second Law, for example, is the most well-known and most frequently cited, while the First Law has only been invoked two or three times.)

Contents 1 First Law 2 Second Law 2.1 Feynman’s Corollary 3 Third Law 4 3.14th Law 5 Fourth Law 6 Fifth Law 7 Sixth Law 8 Seventh Law 9 Eighth Law 10 Sub-Clauses

First Law

“Any male who mentions David Bowie is trying to hit on Natalia.”

The First Law of Forumodyamics was introduced by the Luminiferous Æther Bunny in response to madhatte’s use of a David Bowie lyric in the Lyrical Association game. [1]

• Note: madhatte denies these allegations to this day and will loudly proclaim his innocence to anybody willing to listen.

Second Law

“As a thread veers offtopic, sexual content increases.”

The Second Law of Forumodynamics was introduced by the Luminiferous Æther Bunny in a thread that is now apparently gone.

It has not been observed as much in the forum’s post-2006 history. Its strength in 2006 was probably just a result of the forum going through puberty.

Feynman’s Corollary

“All sex threads eventually form into normal threads.”

This corollary to the Second Law was introduced by FeynmanMH42 to describe a reverse effect seen in threads such as the fetish discussion. [2]

Third Law

Note: This law is disputed, and poorly written. Please discuss it on the talk page.

“As respected illemonati’s time on the forum lessens, activity will also halt. If this process would go on for too long then ‘sadly forums die X(.”

3.14th Law

“At the mere mention of pi, the topic will degenerate into nerdery.”

Fourth Law

Note: This law is disputed. Please discuss it on the talk page.

“All attempts to steer a topic back on track will avail absolutely no result. Similarly, any Earth-shattering, on-topic discoveries announced after the thread has become off-topic will be completely ignored. The last point of the law is that a topic may randomly pop back on topic with no apparent reason or explanation.”

Fifth Law

Note: This law is disputed, and poorly written. Please discuss it on the talk page.

“All forum users are considered male until proven female.”

The Fifth Law of Forumodynamics was introduced by the Luminiferous Æther Bunny in response to Blindfolding’s confusion at frequently being assumed male. It also alludes to previous controversy over the existence of HalfCatharsis. [3]

Sixth Law

“Andrew Kepple owns in every thread. Even this one where he tries not to.”

Seventh Law

“Everyone loves Anya.”

The Seventh Law was proposed by Jason Cooper. [4]

Eighth Law

“Any thread in which Neil or Alora post will immediately become popular according to the equation Np = I, where N = the number of posts made by Neil, p = the post constant, and I = the number of posts made by the Illemonati.”

The Eighth Law was proposed by -stefh after noting that, after Neil started consistently answering requests in the “Ask (about) Neil” thread, the number of questions, both reasonable and inane, increased substantially. [5]

Sub-Clauses

The following are Sub-Clauses which apply to all Laws Of Forumodynamics

• On-Topicity
• Subtopicity
• Off-Topicity
• Sex
• Metatopicity
• Repeat
• (Possible side topic: Glitches)

1. Ontopicity is the original state of every thread, and with the exception of game threads and postwhore threads, rarely lasts more than ten pages.
2. Subtopicity is defined as the state of being close, but not entirely on, the topic. This is usually a quick phase and takes less than five pages.
3. Offtopicity is the major chunk of the thread. This can last or alternate with sex for as many as fifty or sixty pages.
4. Sex is usually related to offtopicity, and usually will not be the sole focus of the thread for more than five to ten pages, but rather will alternate with offtopicity, as stated above.
   • Note: If sex is the topic, the topic will go through a sine wave pattern, where the sex thread alternates with offtopicity regularly, combining the Second Law of Forumodynamics and Feynman’s Corollary.
5. Metatopicity: This phase sometimes does not exist, but if it does, consists of somebody asking why everybody is offtopic. Never lasts more than one page. If it does, it could be considered a separate strain of offtopicity.
   • Note: Sometimes metatopicity reverts to offtopicity, in correlation with the Fourth Law.
6. Glitches are a subset of offtopicity, as they are usually not related to the original topic. This happens if a forum glitch causes posts to be obscured or repeated. If the entire topic of the thread is based on a glitch, then the ontopicity of that will last until the proper forum quality is restored. At that point, the thread will head off to offtopicity and sex, repeated over and over again.