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Kevin Contemplates Death

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Kevin Contemplates Death

There’s no good shouting at the dead, Kevin…

Artist:
Neil Cicierega Presents
Released:
May 15, 2009
Length:
1:34
Link:
Hollywood East TV
YouTube
Cast:
Kevin James

Transcript

(Shots of a cemetery. Someone is laughing evilly. The camera pans over to show that it is Kevin, dressed like a greaser or biker.)
Kevin: Losers.
(Cheerful music begins to play. The title is shown on a headstone. Kevin walks around the cemetery, drinking beer and spitting. He laughs at a grave labeled “Harrison Wiener,” two graves labeled “Orson Fatte” and “Bertha Fatte,” and throws the beer bottle. He laughs harder at graves with the names “Anita Johnson,” “Barney Ramsbottom,” and stops at the grave of “Gaylord Dickman, beloved husband and father.” He completely breaks up laughing, but looks over to see a grave labeled “Kevin. 1987-2005.” The cheerful music stops, and he looks horrified. He looks at his hand, and it is now transparent.)
Kevin: No… No! No! Not now! No! NOOOOO!
(He fades away completely. His sunglasses fall to the ground. The cheerful music returns.)
(Credits.)

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