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Harry's Nightmares
From WikiLemon
Harry's Nightmares
- Artist:
- Cinema Rocketry
- Released:
- September 9, 2010
- Length:
- 2:43
- Link:
- YouTube
Transcript
(Harry pops up.)
Harry: Hello! As Harry Potter, my life is great and enviable. But let me tell you, it ain’t all a big goblet of pumpkin juice. I have seen some sh*t. I’ve been orphaned, ostracized, abused, and attacked. I have mental scars! So while I may be handsome and successful in my day life, it is at night that I can’t escape from the terrible images that bounce around in the dark cavern that is my tortured noggin. Like this one time, I had a horrible nightmare.
(Fade to Harry walking. Frames are cut to give it a sort of choppy slow-motion feel. Snape enters.)
Harry: So I was just hanging out, being awesome, when Snape showed up, and he was all like,
Harry as Snape: Mr. Potter, you’re flunking potions class. What are your college plans?
Harry: But he just kept getting angrier and angrier! Finally, he flipped out, and tried to kill me with a hammer!
(Snape is trying to hit Harry with a real-life hammer. Fade back to Harry.)
Harry: Another time, I dreamt that I was dancing.
(Fade to another dream. Harry is swaying.)
Harry: It was beautiful! I was so great! But then Voldemort showed up,
(Voldemort pops up.)
Harry: He started to upstage me! He did moves I’d never seen before, and all the girls were like
(Camera pan to Hermione and Ron.)
Harry as “Girls: ” Ooh, he’s so cool!
Harry: So I tried to bust a sweet move in retaliation, but suddenly me feet couldn’t move!
(Pan down to the arm that is moving Harry around. Cut back to Harry.)
Harry: It sucked! Another nightmare I had,
(Back to the dream world. Harry’s stomach is bulging.)
Harry: I was pregnant. And I went into labor.
(Harry is panting and writhing. Ron comes out of the end where the puppeteer’s hand usually goes.)
Harry: And I gave birth to Ron!
(Harry is cradling Ron.)
Harry: And I had to raise him from infancy. Clothe him, feed him.
(Cut to dream Harry alone.)
Harry: But then I misplaced him, and this was terrifying, because it meant I had failed as a parent.
(Back to Harry.)
Harry: Oh, and one time, I dreamt that Hermione was addicted to amphetamines!
(Cut to Hermione frantically looking in a box. Harry walks in.)
Harry: She kept digging through my stuff, trying to find things to hawk.
(Cut to Ron and Harry advancing on her.)
Harry: So Ron and I held an intervention. But Hermione flipped out, and tried to kill us with a hammer.
(Hermione has the same hammer as Snape earlier.)
Harry: And another time, I dreamt that I was middle-aged!
(Cut to Harry with wrinkles. Back to Harry.)
Harry: Yuck! But the worst nightmare I ever had,
(Harry is approaching Dumbledore.)
Harry: I was at Hogwarts, and I saw Dumbledore. He looked so decrepit and ghastly. He kept telling me that I wasn’t Harry Potter, and I was like “Of course I’m Harry Potter, Dumbledore!” But he just looked at me through those unfathomable eyes, and he told me that I was a patient in a psychiatric hospital, and that my mind had constructed this fantasy universe of magic, all in order to escape the guilt of having watched my wife die.
(Back to Harry.)
Harry: That sure was a spooky dream! Anyway, what are some of your worst wizarding nightmares? Leave me a comment, or a video response! And remember to subscribe!
(Ron and Hermione are watching, and they look at each other.)
Hermione: Okay, Harry. We will do those things you just told us to do.
Ron: Subscribe to what?
(Hermione pushed him.)
Hermione: Shhh!
Ron: Uh? Uh?
Harry: Hello! As Harry Potter, my life is great and enviable. But let me tell you, it ain’t all a big goblet of pumpkin juice. I have seen some sh*t. I’ve been orphaned, ostracized, abused, and attacked. I have mental scars! So while I may be handsome and successful in my day life, it is at night that I can’t escape from the terrible images that bounce around in the dark cavern that is my tortured noggin. Like this one time, I had a horrible nightmare.
(Fade to Harry walking. Frames are cut to give it a sort of choppy slow-motion feel. Snape enters.)
Harry: So I was just hanging out, being awesome, when Snape showed up, and he was all like,
Harry as Snape: Mr. Potter, you’re flunking potions class. What are your college plans?
Harry: But he just kept getting angrier and angrier! Finally, he flipped out, and tried to kill me with a hammer!
(Snape is trying to hit Harry with a real-life hammer. Fade back to Harry.)
Harry: Another time, I dreamt that I was dancing.
(Fade to another dream. Harry is swaying.)
Harry: It was beautiful! I was so great! But then Voldemort showed up,
(Voldemort pops up.)
Harry: He started to upstage me! He did moves I’d never seen before, and all the girls were like
(Camera pan to Hermione and Ron.)
Harry as “Girls: ” Ooh, he’s so cool!
Harry: So I tried to bust a sweet move in retaliation, but suddenly me feet couldn’t move!
(Pan down to the arm that is moving Harry around. Cut back to Harry.)
Harry: It sucked! Another nightmare I had,
(Back to the dream world. Harry’s stomach is bulging.)
Harry: I was pregnant. And I went into labor.
(Harry is panting and writhing. Ron comes out of the end where the puppeteer’s hand usually goes.)
Harry: And I gave birth to Ron!
(Harry is cradling Ron.)
Harry: And I had to raise him from infancy. Clothe him, feed him.
(Cut to dream Harry alone.)
Harry: But then I misplaced him, and this was terrifying, because it meant I had failed as a parent.
(Back to Harry.)
Harry: Oh, and one time, I dreamt that Hermione was addicted to amphetamines!
(Cut to Hermione frantically looking in a box. Harry walks in.)
Harry: She kept digging through my stuff, trying to find things to hawk.
(Cut to Ron and Harry advancing on her.)
Harry: So Ron and I held an intervention. But Hermione flipped out, and tried to kill us with a hammer.
(Hermione has the same hammer as Snape earlier.)
Harry: And another time, I dreamt that I was middle-aged!
(Cut to Harry with wrinkles. Back to Harry.)
Harry: Yuck! But the worst nightmare I ever had,
(Harry is approaching Dumbledore.)
Harry: I was at Hogwarts, and I saw Dumbledore. He looked so decrepit and ghastly. He kept telling me that I wasn’t Harry Potter, and I was like “Of course I’m Harry Potter, Dumbledore!” But he just looked at me through those unfathomable eyes, and he told me that I was a patient in a psychiatric hospital, and that my mind had constructed this fantasy universe of magic, all in order to escape the guilt of having watched my wife die.
(Back to Harry.)
Harry: That sure was a spooky dream! Anyway, what are some of your worst wizarding nightmares? Leave me a comment, or a video response! And remember to subscribe!
(Ron and Hermione are watching, and they look at each other.)
Hermione: Okay, Harry. We will do those things you just told us to do.
Ron: Subscribe to what?
(Hermione pushed him.)
Hermione: Shhh!
Ron: Uh? Uh?
